Well, that was it. My last appointment before E's arrival. Dr. I was out of town, so I saw Dr. V. For the first time in a while, my blood pressure was normal (which for me is a tad low). My Elliott bump measured right at 38, which Dr. V said was an indicator of good growth. The belly measurement is probably the least scientific measurement, but I will take the positive spin. Dr. V then described the induction process. I have to admit, I did watch an episode of "A Baby Story" on TLC before my appointment today. I will also admit that it was not a wise decision. That said, I literally teared up when she mentioned pitocin. Then she asked if I was okay, and the tear dam flew open. I am dramatic, always have been, but this was ridiculous. She was so compassionate, and said "We will just see how it goes, and you may not even need the pitocin! Every birth is different." Instant tear drought, "Really? That would be terrific," I said. Dr. V immediately regretted her previous statement and said, "Well, it just depends on Dr. I's assessment of the course of your labor."
I know, I know. This is not the birth plan I wanted in a perfect world. Then again, in a perfect world, my sweet son's heart would have formed correctly and he would be coming home with my husband and I straight away, a healthy normal little boy. A lot of things would be different in a perfect world.
In this world, I have to accept that Mark and I had no control over Elliott's heart, and do have control over getting him the best medical care possible, which we have done. We do have control over providing the best, loving home and family for him, teaching him all we know, and encouraging him to learn so much more. I loved him before I knew him, and I love him and his daddy more and more with each passing day and each little kick. I love feeling for his little feet and knees, and I am excited to be able to hold his little fingers in just shy of a week.
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